The FBI is NY is opening an “inquiry” into the recent JP Morgan Chase $2 billion loss. apparently, it’s not a “criminal” case yet, so they are just wondering about it right now.
JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon
JP Morgan CEO, Jamie Dimon, noted last week that the bank had lost the $2 billion by making a poor investment with so-called credit derivatives. You can go read Wiki about the definition of that one. I’m not a financial expert and do not totally understand what that means or how to manage them, but if you’re JP Morgan, maybe you shouldn’t hire people like me and hire FINANCIAL EXPERTS that do understand credit derivatives!
Ina Drew, senior executive has been released from the company. Dimon said, “Drew was a “great partner, but it is appropriate that we bring in new management.” You think so Drew? Sounds like someone’s on the job market, maybe he can get a job at a new bank, like Joseph A. Banks.
Who the eff is running our financial institutions around this place? Are you going to ask for a bail-out now? I think Apple might be the only one who might be able to lose $2 billion and not be too concerned, but you’re JP Morgan.
I was recently browsing the official website for North Korea (http://www.korea-dpr.com). Not only was it full of ridiculous claims and disinformation, but the link that caught my eye was the ‘shop’ link. Following the link, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact you can actually buy North Korean propaganda posters, coasters, mugs, pins, t-shirts and hats. The headline reads, “Buy merchandise and show your support for our country.” I wonder if the money goes directly into Kim Jong Un’s personal checking account he keeps for ice cream socials. Or, maybe this is a way for North Korea to generate enough capital to build their newest labor camp, one t-shirt sale at a time. All they need to do is sell 200,000 at a $5.00 profit to earn a million dollars. That should be sufficient money in order to build a 3rd world outdoor prison camp and the miles of the latest razor wire fencing required. You birdbrains out there can show your support for a sadistic government by buying a t-shirt to commemorate years of repression and suffering!
The citizens of North Korea are born into dept to the wonderful Kim Jong-il’s legacy of a thriving world class country. Unfortunately for Jong Un, I’m not sure the rest of the world is ‘buying it’. A third of North Koreans suffer from starvation due to total reliance on Kim Jong Un’s supremacy for food and rejects international aid. If your a North Korean, and you grumble to your neighbor about your life in any way, and that neighbor reports you, you and your family will end up spending the rest of your life in camp. Unlike a fun summer camp where you make macaroni necklaces and paddle canoes around with Suzy, in this camp you get to look forward to a life of depression, labor and humility.
In one camp in Yodok there are over 50,000 political prisoners. This is only one of 6 known camps. The government make the camps sound non threading by calling them “control zones” but once you move in, there is no coming out alive. Most recently, thousands of citizens ended up in the labor camp for not being sad enough about Kim Jong-il’s death.
If you are not rucky enough to get invited to a rabor camp, you can simply be publicly executed. What is a crime that is punishable by death in North Korea? According to Wikipedia, here’s a few; political dissidence, defection, piracy, consumption of media not approved by the government, so no Van Wilder boobie movies for Chin.
If you want to show your pride for supporting a society run by an overbearing controlling dictator who thrives off of the fear of it’s citizens, here’s the link! http://www.cafepress.com/kfashop Buy a pin and you can happily display your support for an oppressed economy. Buy a hat and show your pride for a Nation that puts fear into peoples everyday life. Buy a mug and drink a beer to celebrate how the North Korean government forces girls into prostitution at the age of 14. Hey, it’s not Saturday, put down that beer North Korean. That’s right, North Koreans can drink, but only if it’s Saturday. So, get off your bum bum and show your support for your favorite repressive regime today!
Here is a little story our Robbie wanted to share…
Stephanie is a total butthole foreign exchange student that lives in my dead sisters room. Her real name isn’t even really Stephanie, it’s Stupid Svetlana. We just call her Stephanie cause she has a sloppy old fashion communist Slovic name. She eats my taco bell, toaster stroodles and kebler elves. She leaves her sweaters in the bathroom after she poops. She always has the T.V. on Animal Planet when I wanna watch Power Rangers while she eats my cheese zips. I want Steph out. One day I’m going to knock her lights out in the face with a baseball bat.
I recently participated in a taco bell sponsored community basketball event. I stuffed two turkeys going for a slam dunk, and scored a half time buzzer game winning shot. So, as my reward for being the hero of our team, ‘Angry Turds’ (I came up with that name).I received a taco bell grande, triple decker, 2 encheritos and a spicy big beef stuffed volcano burrito. I ate the spicy big beef stuffed taco, taco supreme grande, triple decker but only one of the encheritos. I put the other enchierito in the back of the fridge when I got home with my name on it, I even spelled it in big red letters, R-O-B-B-I-E. She snuck downstairs in the middle of the night and ate that, rest of my kebler elves, and my last toaster stroodle. The next morning I woke up only to find she had eaten everything I had falling asleep dreaming about. I cried her name out holding the fridge door open, “STEEEEPH!”
Stephanie is so gross. She takes big poops for 25 minutes and doesn’t turn the fan on. She grunts so hard and it gets so hot and sweaty in there, she has to take her sweater off, to relieve herself from the heat. She doesn’t wipe, flush, and leaves her sweater next to the toilet on the floor every time. Every time I go into the bathroom and there’s one of her turds in the toilet looking at me, I cry her name, “STEEEEPH!”
I come home from school to do my homework right away so I can be done in time to watch Power Rangers. WGN Cincinatti is the best channel cause they also have ‘Saved by the Bell’ and ‘Earth to Gary’.
I zip through my Trigonometry, English Lit. and Spanish homework, all in 18 minutes. Pretty good for a second year Junior in High School. Anyways, I run into the family room and Stupid Slovic Stephanie is hogging the remote control watching ‘Animal Police’ on fancy cable, eating my cheese zips my mom bought for me. I screamed at her,”why dont you eat boiled cabbage and bread like your used to eating, STEEEEEEPH!”
My sister died cause she got bit by a snake in Wisconsin so then Stupid Steph moved in. She eats my taco bell. She poops gross poops. She hoggs the remote. I want her out.
One day I’m going to hit her with a baseball bat in the face.
A 49-year-old man in Grand Junction Colorado “accidentally” shot a 23-year-old woman in the head when he misidentified her mohawk as a possible fowl that had been harassing his cats. The woman was apparently resting on a hill, possible sleeping when the man fired at her. Soon after the shot was fired, he heard a moaning noise coming from the woman, not from her mohawk. The man had been sentenced to 5 years probation and it is believed the woman, who may have been a transient, did not suffer any life threatening injuries and could not be reached to testify as she may have left Colorado.
You have boob guys and ass guys, each on e of them has their preference of details for their favored female body parts. Some guys like tight round asses, some prefer nice, big, juicy butts. And Sir Mix-a-lot has no problem with 36″ – 24″ – 36″, as long as she is 5’3″ of course.
wait – before you get too excited to jump on that ass
But (no pun intended) there comes a point when you simply have too much junk in da’ trunk and it becomes more humorous than sexy…like this woman who apparently is a fan of The Real House Wives of a Tackyville and must have been watching Cougar Town in a foreign language, because she is at least 45 years old, and showing on her face badly, sporting leopard print top and stiletto heels on top of her bubble butt which appears to be bursting out of her jeggings. It is so disproportionate , that if you were to tap it, it would likely burst and you would have silicone, or possibly even rubber cement blow up all over your face. She’s at least a 38″ – 18″ – 46″ at about 6’1″ w/ heels.
And although some ethnicities are stereotyped or ass-ociated with plump juicy rear-ends, this lady looked more from caucasian decent, which isn’t typically known for “natural” plumpness on the glute’s.
In Washington DC, a man has successfully robbed four banks by slipping a note to the tellers indicating that he will detonate a nuclear bomb if they don’t hand over the cash.
So, I understand that the banks’ protocols probably require the teller to hand over the money and oblige to the robber’s demands for their own safety, but come on. You think this guy really has the capability to even possess a nuke? Where the hell would he even keep it?
Iran is still trying to get their nuclear program started after several years, and attempting to get on one the black-market would take a lot more money than he is robbing. Sh!t, if you have a nuke, why rob a bank? Don’t you just rob a whole country at that point? Ask Dr. Evil what he would do. But hey, this robber has been successful, he must be da’ bomb!
The infamous 1 trillion dollar fighter jet (yes: $1,000,000,000.00) has been grounded…again. This time around, it was recently realized that the ejection seat parachutes were packed the wrong way. It was noted that it necessarily wouldn’t prevent the pilot from successfully ejecting, but it could prevent the pilot from landing in the correct and safe position. This was a result of “improper drafting of packing procedures.” I can see if you accidentally put a battery in the wrong direction and mix up the positive and negative terminals, but I would think a parachute would likely have a little more differentiation and clarity of how it should be installed. If not, then there is a BIG problem in the ejection seat parachute industry.
Did I note that this plane cost a trillion dollars? For that price it should have a parachute with a mini fighter jet attached to it.
One of the previous grounding was due to a computer malfunction that affected the cockpit climate system. That climate control system better have heated seats and heated missile launching buttons!
I’m glad to see that our ginormous military budget is being well spent with highly qualified contractors. You know how many veterans you could have provided health and living support for with that amount of cash? And guess what, they only want a happy life after serving our country, risking life and limb and family. But then they come back and get a pat on the back, because the military doesn’t have the budget to spend for post-war care of veterans.
NBC’s stunt show, Fear Factor, seems to be getting their ideas from the Jackass crew. One of their episodes featured a challenge where contestants had to chug a glass of fresh donkey semen!
Mmmmm. Ice cold Beer and a Piña Colada? Nope, fresh donkey urine and semen!
Currently, NBC has put a hold on the episode and is noting a rerun in place of it. Ahhh, cum on NBC, don’t get all choked up over this. It’s a new generation of TV viewers, a new day, different strokes. Giving the episode the shaft is just nuts! You need to stay ahead of the game and other networks and get the ball rolling on this.
Ok, it may not beat out the brilliance of 30Rock, but it should provide the quality broadcasting that NBC is known for.
Costa Concordia, the cruise company behind the recent capsized cruise ship incident in Italy, has recently announced that it will provide some compensation to the surviving victims. No, we’re not talking about a refund, we’re looking at a whopping 30% off their next cruise! Yay!
That is such a fair and practical form of compensation for passengers that nearly met their fate in the water during what was supposed to be an exciting and fun holiday adventure. I bet they can’t wait to get back out in the water, especially with the very same cruise line that had extremely poorly trained staff and management for handling emergency situations. And wow, a whole 30% off! This isn’t a KMart appliance sale you f’ing idiots!
I’m so disappointed in this, I’m going to stop writing and go back to watching Alvin & The Chipmunks Chip Wrecked.
note: after this post was created, the cruise company did decide to provide a cash incentive to the victims involved, but the nerve they had to offer the initial 30% off their next cruise was just a big-asshwak insult.
A good friend and nature enthusiast, Sute Dawg, has released his latest nature documentary which explores the Colorado foothills and the wild life within. This film features amazing footage and commentary into the rarely witnessed wild side of mother nature and the front rage of colorful Colorado, from birds, plants & trees, to mammals and predators.
