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iStupid ass iClothing

Posted: May 26th, 2010 | Author:

This is just sofa king we todd did!

Sure the iPad is selling like hot cakes and is a pretty awesome device, but you don’t need to carry it around like it was a joey and you were some type of digital hipster marsupial.

The iPad is similar to the size of a notebook or magazine, and you know what? No clothing company went out of their way to make a stupid-ass $45 T-shirt with a single big pocket on the front to carry it, so why would you make one now? Plus the iPad has some weight to it, so stashing it in your front pocket is only going to sag your T and make you look like you have a rectangular hard on poking out of your pants!

And girls, seriously? If you wear that hideous dress and actually put an iPad in it you should just put a helmet on to match.

Just don’t make stupid Sh!t!

Check out the iClothing site here – and NO! I’m not going to be your friend, fan or follow your stupid-ass on Twitter:

http://www.iclothing.com.au

Cap-sac – fanny pack for your head

Posted: July 3rd, 2009 | Author:

Alright, I thought the fanny pack was gone. Someone thought that if the trend to have a sack around your fanny or waist wasn’t in still, then maybe putting it on your head would be the next best thing.

Yes, that is a zippered pocket on the front to store your personal items like your buttons, thimbles, and coupons.

So this is the fanny pack for your head? So you’re calling your customers butt-heads?

Sorry to say, but Cap-Sacs are not the new black, brown, or denim. This is about as good as the Snuggie. If you own one of those, then you’ll probably get one of these.

Aside from the stupid concept, the fashionable style, or lack of, this product will not only take you back to the 80’s, but it will take you back to a time when you got your ass kicked for wearing crap like this.

Just because you give a product some retro colors and styling does not mean that it will be hot. Plus, the whole retro 80’s trend is exactly that, a trend. Don’t start basing your whole company on a trend (i.e. Crocs – current stock: 3.21).

By the way, 1990 called and wants it’s intro website page back. If you’re building a Flash site, you don’t need this ridiculous intro page anymore.

This thing gets 1 Talon out of 5!
Billy Mays would be quite disappointed about this product.
R.I.P. Billy Mays!

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Slathe Tshirts!

Posted: November 29th, 2008 | Author:

We recently came across this T-shirt printing sites called Skreened.com . It is one of those online resources where users can upload their designs and create their own shirt.

An old friend, nicknamed “The Penguin bud,” had finally sent a notification about the new release of the Slathe T-shirts. I was very excited to see the Slathe in action.

I went to the site, http://skreened.com/slathe, and to my disappointment, the Slathe has been altered! WTF! The Slathe on this shirt looks too good. way too streamlined, it actually looks fast!

And what’s with the flag-like bars in the background. Are you trying to be all “graphic designy.” Did you get a faux-hawk with that Adobe Illustrator? I got an idea, why don’t you throw some splatters with some silhouettes of vines, leafs and slutty chicks with high heels! You took something simple and amazing, then you added that ad agency feel to it. actually it looks like some album cover of an indie emo group that wanted something catchy and unique. “Make it look retro or something simple mod-contemporary.” Come on man… the Slathe has a heritage of authenticity and integrity that goes way beyond this “Threadless wannabe” site.

Actually, now that I’m looking at it without my blindfold, it actually is pretty tight…. or shall I say “muy biĆ©n!” So, I will give this design 4 out of 5 talons, but I really have 8… I’m saving the other 3 in case I see something I really enjoy.

Skreened.com isn’t that shabby either. I think we’ll make some asshawk shirts and sell them for millions of pesos!

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