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Cry Baby Packers fan

Posted: January 18th, 2012 | Author:

Ooooohhh! Poor baby.

Your team lost and you’re still wearing cheese on your head… and who knows where else.

Get your Jordan’s son!

Posted: December 25th, 2011 | Author:

Some people just can’t wait to get their merchandise, be it a Black Friday Walmart Sale on a Waffle Maker, or some new release retro Jordan XI’s. When you gotta get some shoes, you gotta get some, and bust through doors, trample on kids, whatever it takes, because $180 shoes are so worth it!

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Metta World Peace (Ron Artest) is an idiot?

Posted: December 22nd, 2011 | Author:

just watch it – He thanks Jesus Christ for not losing his teeth at 20 years old, and it is brilliant the way he created people to allow them to lose their baby teeth and then grow in their adult teeth. WTF!

And did God create the Earth in 7 days and 7 nights? I thought he rested on the 7th day with a pretty big hangover to deal with, so I think that 7th night he was passed out.

Penn-a-State sex scandal vandals

Posted: November 20th, 2011 | Author:

Penn State University’s sex scandal has been public for a couple of weeks and it simply disgust me.

We have two primary issues, one is that head coach Joe Paterno witnessed the sexual abuse that Jerry Sundusky has been doing to young boys and failed to report it to the authorities to help protect themselves and the school’s reputation, primarily their football program. Second but not least, is that Sandusky was molesting and abusing these young boys.

Not only was this some accident or spontaneous random incident. Sandusky actually created a charity called Second Mile to help found youth programs. This acted as a perfect gateway for him to meet some of his victims, and thus, is one sick-ass premeditated way to plan your pedophile lifestyle.

Sandusky was not only ousted recently, but victims have spoken up and described some of the abuse that he was performing, from inappropriate touching all the way to showering! Sandusky even admitted that he showered with young boys, but it wasn’t anything sexual, they were just horsing around.

So, I don’t know anyone that “horses around” like that. Perhaps if you were in prison facing a life sentence and you dropped the soap in the shower, but those are not normal circumstances. Seriously, what f#cking adult man horses around with young boys in the shower? I don’t even think Michael Jackson did that, he only admitted to sleeping in the same bed, which is not any better.

It doesn’t matter how horny you are, how old you are, what your title or position is, or how great your football team is, it does NOT justify any behavior that is illegal especially sexually abusing and molesting young boys Sandusky! You are one sick and twisted mother f$cker. Oh wait, they weren’t mothers.

And a big-ass shame on you Paterno and any other school administrators that help cover up this bullsh1t! You are just as guilty and as bad as Sandusky in my opinion. How would you feel if somebody molested you and other witnessed it, yet neglected to report it, stop it and prevent it? How would you feel?

Well, I hope you go to prison so you can feel exactly how it is. And you can continue your “horsing around” in the showers. YeeHaw! Ride’em cowboy!

 

Manny Ramirez suspended for 50 games!

Posted: May 7th, 2009 | Author:

The game of Baseball is already boring as hell. Now these so called “athletes” are taking steroids and breaking records, and boring me on the news now.

manny ramirez
Manny is about to take a dump in his pants during a game.

Dodgers 12 time all star Manny Ramirez was suspended for the next 50 games for an unspecified violation of MLB’s performance-enhancing drug policy.

Ramirez stated that he was prescribed the medication by a doctor for treating an ailment. The only thing is that he neglected to apply for permission to use certain medications for medical treatment. He will now lose $7.6 million of his $25 million salary. You make this much money and you can’t just work out a little more and drink some protein shakes!?

All you have to do is stand around the dugout or the field for a couple hours and occasionally hit a ball, run a few bases and make a catch here and there. Do you really need to take steroids to do this well? All of you players who have been taking part in this drug fest should get an anal enhanced injection from a nice splintery baseball bat!

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Probably shouldn’t kiss in the Octagon

Posted: March 18th, 2009 | Author:

❓ Who does this in the ring before a fight?

What made you think it was okay to lay a smacker on a guy who has gloves on, knows martial arts, is prepared to fight and is standing right in front of you. In fact he is about to engage into hand to hand combat with you.

I think lip style is not very effective.

Sorry about the watermark – we’re still using the trial of Flip4Mac

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Jay Cutler – Cry baby Quarterback

Posted: March 17th, 2009 | Author:

Denver Broncos quarterback, Jay Cutler, is being a cry baby about continuing his playing with the Denver Broncos. A couple months ago, there were rumors flying around the Broncos pack with owner, Pat Bowlen, and new head coach, Josh McDaniels.

jay cutler

McDaniels, which is the youngest head coach in any professional sport at an age of 32, came from New England as their offensive coach. He has 3 Super Bowl rings under his belt too.

After Cutler caught wind of possible trades, he started the feud with McDaniels. This past Monday, McDaniels ordered a “voluntary” team meeting where he asked all members to show up. Cutler not only ditched out, but he put his home and condo for sale! He also requested to be traded!

Sure Cutler threw for over 4,500 yards and over 25 touchdowns, but also had 18 interceptions. He even made it to the Pro Bowl in under 3 years as a pro in the NFL.

Ok, so you have some good stats, but you’re missing one major one – A SUPER BOWL! You’re such a cry baby. When you leave the field after a failed 3rd down, you’re head is down, you it on the bench like a poor sport. You’re a DAMN quarterback! You need to be a LEADER! Not a turtle with your head tucked into your shell. And now this?

Maturity is a big thing in professional sports, but I have never seen anything like this. You want to cry? You want to be traded because of possible trade talks? Well, welcome to the world of professional sports! Everyone can be traded! Unless you’re Elway, Montana, Brady, you’re probably not stable. So, step up and be a man, and you may secure your place, but until then, you can go play in Detroit for all I care!

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Phelps and the tobacco water pipe

Posted: February 7th, 2009 | Author:

Come on Phelps. Don’t you know it’s not called a bong? That could’ve been some nice fresh legal tobacco you were smoking out of the tobacco water pipe.

Well, Phelps pretty much admitted by apologizing about the incident in which this photograph depicts the current most Gold Medal decorated athlete of the Olympics, EVER, smoking from what some reporters are calling a “bong.”
phelps bong

Damn! Imagine if you had lungs like him and you were able to snatch up 8 Gold Medals in a single Olympics, and you got offered some chronic. That would be pretty damn good hit, so I hear.

As a penalty, he has been suspended from the circuit for 3 months, yet he doesn’t even really start racing until May of 2009 anyways. That’s like suspending a hockeyt player in July. His sponsor, Kellogg’s, is going to drop him and said that what Phelps did does not represent Kellogg’s. I say that one of your largest demographics are those who get high and get them munchies, and what do they go for? That’s Right! They pick a box of Kellogg’s cereal and start chowing down.

There are now rumors that he may not participate in the 2012 Olympics, because he’d rather watch it from his couch with a big-ass bong.

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Long-hairs are a requirement to make it to the Super Bowl

Posted: January 27th, 2009 | Author:

It is that time of the year, where tons of hot wings are fried up and Pepto Bismol sales reach record highs! Yes NFL fans, it is the SUPER BOWL!

Super Bowl XLIII Logo
Super Bowl 43 or as the old Romans used to say “XLIII”

Between all of the cool commercials and some amazing boobless half-time show, there will be two teams battling for the metallic football and some golden jewelry.
The two lucky teams:
Arizona Cardinals vs. Pittsburgh Steelers.

These two teams have fought a long and hard season to make it to the top. How did they do it you might ask?
They had players with long hair!

Arizona’s Larry Fitzgerald, and Pittsburgh Steeler’s Troy Polamalu are two players who are heading up the latest winning fashion trend of having long hair flow outwards from your helmet. So, for all of those who thought long-hairs were just trouble and up to mischief, this proves that you can succeed with long hair outside of the rock n’ roll stage.

Below, Cardinal’s Fitzgerald demonstrates the vertical leap enhancement as the hair begins to form wings, and as air flows through the hair, Bernoulli’s principle takes affect with the surrounding air pressure, and creates enough lift to elevate Fitzgerald to a jolly height!
Larry fitzgerald jolly leap

It is thought that the flowing locks may provide better aerodynamics, a balancing tool like the tail of a cheetah, and a possible distraction to predators or the opposing team players.

It is still unknown which length is most ideal and if straight or curly will provide the winning combination.

In this photo, Steeler’s own Polamalu is trying to confuse the opponents by making it appear as if he has a bushel of pubic hair overflowing from his helmet. This technique takes years of practice and refinement, including lots of shampoo. Those who are fortunate enough to perfect it, may end up in the Super Bowl like Tony.

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S.K.A.T.E. Or Die

Posted: January 15th, 2009 | Author:

Here is some of the best games of “S.K.A.T.E.” I have ever seen, and they are only done with the first round.

SNAKES.