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Stupid Steph

Posted: April 24th, 2012 | Author:

Here is a little story our Robbie wanted to share…

Stephanie is a total butthole foreign exchange student that lives in my dead sisters room. Her real name isn’t even really Stephanie, it’s Stupid Svetlana. We just call her Stephanie cause she has a sloppy old fashion communist Slovic name. She eats my taco bell, toaster stroodles and kebler elves. She leaves her sweaters in the bathroom after she poops. She always has the T.V.  on Animal Planet when I wanna watch Power Rangers while she eats my cheese zips. I want Steph out. One day I’m going to knock her lights out in the face with a baseball bat.

I recently participated in a taco bell sponsored community basketball event. I stuffed two turkeys going for a slam dunk, and scored a half time buzzer game winning shot. So, as my reward for being the hero of our team, ‘Angry Turds’ (I came up with that name).I received a taco bell grande, triple decker, 2 encheritos and a spicy big beef stuffed volcano burrito. I ate the spicy big beef stuffed taco, taco supreme grande, triple decker but only one of the encheritos. I put the other enchierito in the back of the fridge when I got home with my name on it, I even spelled it in big red letters, R-O-B-B-I-E. She snuck downstairs in the middle of the night and ate that, rest of my kebler elves, and my last toaster stroodle. The next morning I woke up only to find she had eaten everything I had falling asleep dreaming about. I cried her name out holding the fridge door open, “STEEEEPH!”

Stephanie is so gross. She takes big poops for 25 minutes and doesn’t turn the fan on. She grunts so hard and it gets so hot and sweaty in there, she has to take her sweater off, to relieve herself from the heat. She doesn’t wipe, flush, and leaves her sweater next to the toilet on the floor every time. Every time I go into the bathroom and there’s one of her turds in the toilet looking at me, I cry her name, “STEEEEPH!”

I come home from school to do my homework right away so I can be done in time to watch Power Rangers. WGN Cincinatti is the best channel cause they also have ‘Saved by the Bell’ and ‘Earth to Gary’.

I zip through my Trigonometry, English Lit. and Spanish homework, all in 18 minutes. Pretty good for a second year Junior in High School. Anyways, I run into the family room and Stupid Slovic Stephanie is hogging the remote control watching ‘Animal Police’ on fancy cable, eating my cheese zips my mom bought for me. I screamed at her,”why dont you eat boiled cabbage and bread like your used to eating, STEEEEEEPH!”

My sister died cause she got bit by a snake in Wisconsin so then Stupid Steph moved in. She eats my taco bell. She poops gross poops. She hoggs the remote. I want her out.

One day I’m going to hit her with a baseball bat in the face.

– Robbie

Category: Bird Droppings

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