» clothing

Asshawk of the Month May 2013

Posted: May 17th, 2013 | Author:

Abercrombie & Douche

Abercrombie & Fitch’s CEO Mike Jeffries is almost as douchey as their products. 7-years ago, he stated some pretty offensive comments regarding their marketing strategy. Simply, Abercrombie doesn’t make plus sizes in their clothes, because they do not want “fat” people wearing and representing their brand. He also hinted that only “cool” people wear Abercrombie & Fitch, so they try to make it accessible to these “cool” people. This extends into their practices of burning their lightly damaged products (seconds) instead of donating them like many other clothing brands do.

Your brand is crap, your clothes are lack luster and mundane, the ideology and image you represent is impractical and unnatural, just like your face.

Come on Mike… take a look at yourself. You’re not Mr. Glamourous you botoxed-up, plasticized freak. Sure, you may fit in your clothes, but the only piece of attire that would enhance your appearance would be a mask. Do you guys make those? On a positive note, you might have a future opportunity in a remake of The Goonies.


iStupid ass iClothing

Posted: May 26th, 2010 | Author:

This is just sofa king we todd did!

Sure the iPad is selling like hot cakes and is a pretty awesome device, but you don’t need to carry it around like it was a joey and you were some type of digital hipster marsupial.

The iPad is similar to the size of a notebook or magazine, and you know what? No clothing company went out of their way to make a stupid-ass $45 T-shirt with a single big pocket on the front to carry it, so why would you make one now? Plus the iPad has some weight to it, so stashing it in your front pocket is only going to sag your T and make you look like you have a rectangular hard on poking out of your pants!

And girls, seriously? If you wear that hideous dress and actually put an iPad in it you should just put a helmet on to match.

Just don’t make stupid Sh!t!

Check out the iClothing site here – and NO! I’m not going to be your friend, fan or follow your stupid-ass on Twitter: