Asshawk.com » Korea

Support your favorite repressive regime today

Posted: April 24th, 2012 | Author:

I was recently browsing the official website for North Korea (http://www.korea-dpr.com). Not only was it full of ridiculous claims and disinformation, but the link that caught my eye was the ‘shop’ link. Following the link, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact you can actually buy North Korean propaganda posters, coasters, mugs, pins, t-shirts and hats. The headline reads, “Buy merchandise and show your support for our country.” I wonder if the money goes directly into Kim Jong Un’s personal checking account he keeps for ice cream socials. Or, maybe this is a way for North Korea to generate enough capital to build their newest labor camp, one t-shirt sale at a time. All they need to do is sell 200,000 at a $5.00 profit to earn a million dollars. That should be sufficient money in order to build a 3rd world outdoor prison camp and the miles of the latest razor wire fencing required. You birdbrains out there can show your support for a sadistic government by buying a t-shirt to commemorate years of repression and suffering!

The citizens of North Korea are born into dept to the wonderful Kim Jong-il’s legacy of a thriving world class country. Unfortunately for Jong Un, I’m not sure the rest of the world is ‘buying it’. A third of North Koreans suffer from starvation due to total reliance on Kim Jong Un’s supremacy for food and rejects international aid. If your a North Korean, and you grumble to your neighbor about your life in any way, and that neighbor reports you, you and your family will end up spending the rest of your life in camp. Unlike a fun summer camp where you make macaroni necklaces and paddle canoes around with Suzy, in this camp you get to look forward to a life of depression, labor and humility.

In one camp in Yodok there are over 50,000 political prisoners. This is only one of 6 known camps. The government make the camps sound non threading  by calling them  “control zones” but once you move in, there is no coming out alive. Most recently, thousands of citizens ended up in the labor camp for not being sad enough about Kim Jong-il’s death.

If you are not rucky enough to get invited to a rabor camp, you can simply be publicly executed. What is a crime that is punishable by death in North Korea? According to Wikipedia, here’s a few; political dissidence, defection, piracy, consumption of media not approved by the government, so no Van Wilder boobie movies for Chin.

If you want to show your pride for supporting a society run by an overbearing controlling dictator who thrives off of the fear of it’s citizens, here’s the link!  http://www.cafepress.com/kfashop Buy a pin and you can happily display your support for an oppressed economy. Buy a hat and show your pride for a Nation that puts fear into peoples everyday life. Buy a mug and drink a beer to celebrate how the North Korean government forces girls into prostitution at the age of 14. Hey, it’s not Saturday, put down that beer North Korean. That’s right, North Koreans can drink, but only if it’s Saturday. So, get off your bum bum and show your support for your favorite repressive regime today!

If don’t want to support North Korea, help a North Korean refugee. http://www.northkoreanrefugees.com

Sutedawg